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I'm not this bad.:
.posted by ben on Jan 31 at 16:56
A TragedyTheophilus Marzials
Hi, I'm not real... Want to build a sandcastle?:
.posted by ben on Jan 31 at 16:32
This is what I was humming, riding down from the hill.:
.posted by ben on Jan 29 at 11:16
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You just can't get me out of your head Boy my loving is all you think about You just can't get me out of your head Boy it's more than you can think about ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You just can't get me out of your head Boy my loving is all you think about You just can't get me out of your head Boy it's more than you can think about Every night Every day Just to be there in my arms you can't stay you don't get to lay no sex forever and never and never and never ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Boulder:
.posted by ben on Jan 16 at 13:39
I just had a profoundly Boulder moment. I'm up at Prufrocks, and one of the Baristas, Andrea, was going through the trash can, picking out aluminum cans. Of Arizona tea no less... No coke cans in that trashcan...
Death on Wheels:
.posted by ben on Jan 11 at 20:45
"Safety is a core component of every DaimlerChrysler design..." -reference "The 500-horsepower Viper V-10 engine powering the dual rear wheels gives this radical vehicle a potential top speed of nearly 400 miles per hour..." "0-60 mph: 2.5 seconds (est.)"
Free 20 Dollars:
.posted by ben on Jan 7 at 15:10
"Suppose someone was handing out $20 bills and almost nobody wanted one? That's roughly what's happening with a massive price-fixing settlement involving states and compact disc companies." http://www.siliconvalley.com/mld/siliconvalley/4888777.htmhttp://www.musiccdsettlement.com/
Whitewashed History:
.posted by ben on Dec 26 at 18:29
[God Blessed America] This Land Was Made For You And Me This land is your land, this land is my land From [the] California to the [Staten] New York Island, From the Redwood Forest, to the Gulf stream waters, [God blessed America for me.] As I went walking that ribbon of highway And saw above me that endless skyway, And saw below me the golden valley, I said: [God blessed America for me.] I roamed and rambled and followed my footsteps To the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts, And all around me , a voice was sounding: [God blessed America for me.] Was a high wall there that tried to stop me A sign was painted said: Private Property, But on the back side it didn't say nothing -- [God blessed America for me.] When the sun come shining, then I was strolling In wheat fields waving and dust clouds rolling; The voice was chanting as the fog was lifting: [God blessed America for me.] One bright sunny morning in the shadow of the steeple By the Relief Office I saw my people -- As they stood hungry, I stood there wondering if [God blessed America for me.] -Woody Guthrie Feb 23,1940 (12 years before the whitewashed version)
Hosed:
.posted by ben on Dec 17 at 23:18
I think the technical term is hosed. I got hosed on the Math GRE... $120 that would have been better spent on sushi, or a cardboard box to live in after I don't get into graduate school anywhere. I got a 500. Which wouldn't be so bad, except that's the 21st percentile. I'm not sure I've ever done that badly on a standardized test. This is how it feels to be below average... way below average. I'm going to blame it on the test, and cling to the notion that I'm not an idiot. Supposedly some ungodly number of people were getting perfect scores on the tests, so they regraded them to make people fail. But, they didn't just regrade them to put a reasonable mean on things, but to make the previous scores fit into the new distribution. So that's why I did badly... I hope... I wish... but it probably isn't true, only anti-ETS rhetoric spouted by the grumbling masses of people who are going to learn how to wield a guacamole gun. As Josh says, "I used to be smart." Not anymore, now I'm very very dumb... Standards of deviation below average dumb. So dumb that spelling mistakes are no longer my worst errors... So dumb that I'm losing the capacity for speech, not intelligent speech, but speech.
Below Average:
.posted by ben on Dec 17 at 18:39
Jebus on a loaf of bread:
.posted by ben on Dec 12 at 12:55
India marvels at 'miracle chapati.' The 'miracle' happened three days ago Hundreds of Christian pilgrims and other curious onlookers have been making their way to a church in Bangalore in India to see a chapati which has the image of Christ burnt into it. The chapati - a loaf of unleavened bread - is one of dozens that Shella Anthony bakes in her oven in Bangalore every day. But this one she thought was different. -from the BBC
My name is MC JB3:
.posted by ben on Dec 9 at 19:51
This isn't nearly as bad as my singing. MC JB3 - My Mind.mp3 MC JB3 - Khan.mp3 MC JB3 - On Goedel.mp3
in my computer lair:
.posted by ben on Dec 9 at 02:27
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